- My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.
- Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
- How to prepare Tofu:
- Throw it in the trash
- Grill some meat
- I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
- I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
- A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
- Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
- Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
- Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
- I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
- I love being over 70. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.
- A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.
- I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
- November 6, 2016 will be the end of Daylight Savings Time. Hope you don’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.
- Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Beat feet outta here!